No Poi for You!
by Lou Serbio
Summary: Deadpool meets Syrin in Hawaii, but an enemy from Wade's past returns for revenge! Guest starring Jean Grey and Cyclops. [Read & reviews would be welcomed & appreciated.]
1. Part 1

**AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR HOST: **

Hakuna Matata! I'm Wade Wilson. No, I ain't the former Minnesota Vikings quarterback who disappeared off the face of the earth, so nobody ask. I'm the mercenary-currently-known-as-Deadpool, no, not the fuckin' Dirty Harry movie! I once changed my name to that unpronounceable symbol, but then I didn't know how to sign my checks. I expect there are many of you who never saw me, probably a good thing. My entire buff body is really scarred, a side effect of a cancer cure granted me by the nice Weapon X folks. So, I wear lots of clothes, and cover my face with a mask. Many have said my costume is a rip-off of Spider-Man's. Like I give a rats- patootie! He can sue me.

Unlike that web-headed pansy, I am a killer. I was paid to waste other people. Thing is, I hadn't been doing what I do, with several exceptions, because I had something that people unlike me usually have. Hell, what's it called; hmm, elephant, episode-Episode 1? Damn that Jar Jar! I never wanted to shoot the screen more. Oh yeah, an epiphany! It was when a once- dear friend, a lovely blue female mutant Vanessa, was gravely injured by my once-dead enemy Slayback. I saved her life thanks to my healing factor and her mutant-ability to absorb stuff from people. I soon realized that stopping pulses was an activity I should reevaluate. Like I said, an epiphany.

Some others kept me on the jagged and wide. Another lovely female mutant who probably prefers the color green, Theresa Rourke, saw something good in me that few had. There was Blind Alfred, my-er, uh roomie—aw who am I kidding! She was my septuagenarian, not-lovely prisoner for years. And although I contradicted my whole good-guy efforts by keeping her imprisoned against her will, she believed in me too. But the funky 70s group Landau, Luckman & Lake actually had me pegged as the Mithras: the savior of Earth. Heh, that was fuckin' hilarious.

More often than not it's been revealed to me what an unmitigated loser I am. Ordinarily, a win was getting that bullet right between their eyes, but there was no joy in that success. So I turned to attempting to help someone, like that demented Typhoid Mary-TYPHOID MARY! Slowly I turn—step by step—inch by inch—I—uh, whoa, okay. Well, that outburst showed why you should never mix jalapeno cheese-dip with Chunky Monkey, especially while watching the Stooges marathon. But I digress. When I tried to help her, it backfired. She twisted my good intentions against me, and I rejoined the dark side for a little while. Did I also mention I went and destroyed the Messiah that was supposed to bring peace to the world, so that took care of that Mithras sham? Yeah, Captain Scabface is a surefire winner, ain't he?

But wait, there's more! I died a few times after that. No really, I actually flat-lined, was deader than Vanilla Ice's career. I was even about to pull off a World's Un-Finest with Cable, one of my blood-enemies. Go figure.

Here's the reason why I am rambling like Richard Simmons on crack. Theresa Rourke had left a message on my machine, then she kicked me in the balls Women, can't live with 'em, can't—wear a cup on my groin without 'em! I had noticed she wore a few injuries, but it took an unusually large amount of time for me to process that not only had someone mangled her but it was probably someone who looked like me. Why anyone would wanna impersonate my ugly mug has got serious issues, but I had to get closure. I don't wanna lose her for the umpteenth time, this way I won't pull a Britney-cries-over- Justin-on-"20/20" kinda thing.

Oops, there's that theme song destined to be a classic. I'll have to end this little bio; "Reba" is coming on! Staying home on a Friday to watch a middle-aged country star with a laugh track certainly cements my loser status! So to sum up, this story is about my brief stay in Maui with a girl who made me a falsetto for a day and a nasty beast who wanted to do what I did and didn't like me very much for it.

You expect me to narrate myself? Fuck YOU! Reba is my vice!

_**PART 1:**_

After Theresa Rourke lost her sonic powers when her throat was slashed, the fire-red haired mutant had left X-Force to heal beside her aunt. But she had not been on a true vacation since forever and could not fathom any better location to unwind than these beautiful island beaches of Maui, Hawaii.

At Hamoa Beach, Hana, she relaxed, clad in a white-frilled bikini, on a beach-chair under a parasol. The warm, comforting rays on her lotioned skin was heaven to Theresa, as she sipped on a fruit-drink and sighed. This second Sunday of June was not only her first day there, but also would prove to be her worst day there.

"Aloha kâua!" A raspy voice resonated from behind her.

Having heard the familiar voice, her head jolted upward, but with a whispered, "nae" she dismissed it. She laid back again and re-sipped her drink.

"Hey, seriously, I think Elvis is surfing out there," the voice continued. "Look at that, it's the bloated, drugged-out one! Someone call James Cameron! We're going to make 'Point Break 2: The King Lives'!"

"Oh nae, NAE!" Theresa leapt from her chair and spun around to suddenly see her on-again, off-again friend Deadpool. "Wade WILSON!"

"And the crowd goes wild!" Wilson knelt by a sand castle, and wore his trademark mask, a Hawaiian shirt and long white pants. As she stood with her hands on her hips, he scanned her up and down, for she was scantily clad. "Faith and begorrah! Did you hear Maxim was having their Hot-Irish- Mutant-Swimsuit issue?"

"Ach!" Theresa immediately snapped up her wrap and tied it on. "What the hell are ye doin' here? And how th' bloody hell did ye find me?"

"If those were the essay questions on my SATs I'd have a Harvard degree." Wilson sheepishly hung his head, stood up, and dragged his feet in the sand while he'd begun to stroll toward her.

"Deadpool, stay away." Theresa recoiled, but since she was unable to summon her mutant sonic powers, she said, "I swear t'God, I'll kick ye harder than I did last time."

Anger and fear in her eyes halted Wade in his tracks. Distraught at the fact that she beared these emotions for him, Wade meekly said, "I auditioned for the Vienna Boys Choir after that."

"How. Did. Ye._ Find_. Me?" Friend or not, Deadpool was a killer, so Theresa was highly concerned about her own safety. The person she was questioning had seemingly mauled her, and she could not possibly let her guard down.

"Umm," he struggled to find the appropriate answer. "It looks like you should've used Capital One?"

Theresa shut her eyes and sharply exhaled. "Ye broke into me credit card records, ye bloody..."

"Theresa, I'll be the first, next and last in line to declare I'm the most immense asshole-bastard-loser-scumbag to ever walk the Earth." He had not yelled, even over the ocean noise. "There's not a whole lot I can do to change what I was and what I'd done to others, except maybe get a guest spot on Dr. Phil, or perhaps that wouldn't be a good idea either."

"I'm goin' t'call the police," Theresa grew impatient and Wade wondered why she hadn't yet turned him into a quivering mound of jelly with her sonic scream, but still continued.

"My point is, you're one of the few special people to have crossed the filthy, crusty doorstep of my life. You have my solemn word that I would never, ever do anything to hurt you."

"I don't believe ye, Wilson! Ye beat the shite out of me," she said.

"I swear to Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ I did not and would _never_ do that," he calmly assured her.

"So someone who looked, talked, an' smelled exactly like you put me in the emergency ward."

"It wasn't-"Under his mask, he arched his brow. "What do I _smell_ like?"

"Ye need to leave, Deadpool." She picked up her cell phone. "Ye warned me how ye weren't a good man an' that ye dwell in dark places. Well, I felt that f'r meself."

"But you've encountered so many shape changing mutants in your time with X- Force." He said stoically, and not even raised his voice or moved in a threatening manner. "How many of 'em actually had a real motive to bruise you?"

With that question, she stalled before she dialed the final 1 in 911. Indeed Deadpool was a hostile man, but whoever had beaten her, focused a fierce, almost jealous anger directly onto just her. During those moments, this person didn't seem like Wade, who watched over her as she slept; Wade, who was content with their friendship; Wade, the man who spared the life of a doctor who once tortured him. Her uncertainty however, was based on his mind's instability.

"Wilson, I'm scared of ye," she admitted. "Yuir tainted past leaves me in doubt."

"I understand," he said, scratching his hung head. "At the risk of sounding redundant, there can be no reason for me to ever, ever, harm you."

"Ye have to go," she said. "I need time t' think about this."

"Okay," he sincerely answered and was about to tap his transporter belt. "Enjoy your vacation, a hui hou."

Suddenly, by the area where Wade Wilson stood, a shadow from above had enlarged.

"Funny, there wasn't supposed to be an eclipse this year," Wilson noticed, as the shadow had enlarged exponentially.

Deadpool faced upward and a large humanoid plunged towards his spot. At the last second, he leapt out of the way as the massive being slammed on top of Wilson's sand castle. The impact kicked up the beach sand ten meters into the blue Hawaiian sky.

"Hey, ya big bully! I don't need Charles Atlas to kick your..."

As the sand cloud settled, a familiar shape began to form in front of Wade Wilson's eyes: a titanic, cyan-skinned, mouth-less, red-eyed alien with organic armor and weaponry. It stood silently with prominent vengeance in its eyes.

Theresa, also thrust away by the creature's mammoth impact, saw the felled, frozen with fear Deadpool laid out. "Wade, are ye okay? What is that thing?"

"It's—it's my version of Doomsday," he squeaked out, "a crazy mo-fo called Tiamat."

"Mithras, you stole my destiny," The creature uttered in pure American English.

"Whoa," Deadpool uttered.

Syrin stood upward and motioned toward Deadpool, but he stopped her. "Theresa, get the civilians to safety!"

"Safety? Wade, f'r Christ's sake, what the hell's goin' on?" She asked.

"Theresa!" He exclaimed, and although his mask covered his face, his eyes pleaded. "Just go."

"Damnú air!" She'd begun to corral the tourists and locals who were fleeing the ensuing melee.

"It's been a while, Tiamat! How are the wife and kids? Still butt ugly?" Deadpool growled as he up righted himself. He gave Syrin time to completely evacuate with the by-passers.

"Mithras must die," Tiamat growled. "Revenge."

"Wake up call, Cecil! I ain't the Mithras no more," he announced. "Still, t'was a shame you went all kookie-doodle and lost your job to the guy who was supposed to whack you."

Tiamat's staff-weapon emitted a powerful energy burst that struck the sand where Deadpool stood. He flipped back just before the beam hit.

"God damn it, you asexual freak!" Deadpool said as he scrambled to hide and regroup. He left all of his weapons behind to appear less threatening to Theresa. "I was trying to make amends with a beautiful woman, and now we're ruining her day!"

Tiamat loudly grunted and shot more energy bolts at him. Deadpool utilized acrobatic moves and flips to avoid being fried, but the beast ultimately scored a hit on Wilson's left leg. Deadpool roared as his own flesh was burned to a crisp. "Aiâ!" he exclaimed as he grasped the excessive burn mark. "G-give Steroid- Rage E.T. a round of applause, folks,"

The alien champion strode through the sand up to Deadpool, who was laid out at the shore edge. Tiamat aimed the staff point straight for his heart. "Mithras stole my destiny. Die!"

Suddenly, Wilson scooped up two handfuls of wet sand and wailed them into the eyes of his attacker! Tiamat let loose a growl as all his eyes were blinded.

"Ha! Can't believe you fell for that one!" Deadpool laughed. "Zip-A-Dee- Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-ay,"

With his leg healed, Deadpool snatched the organic staff from the distracted Tiamat and wailed him straight into his face with the rounded end. "My, oh my, what a wonderful day," The alien staggered back. Wilson sung as he horizontally rammed the staff into his Tiamat's sternum. "Plenty of sunshine heading my way." Then Deadpool whiffed it upward, and cracked it directly into its face during that verse. "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee- ay!" He flipped with ease and accuracy, and Deadpool crashed the blunt end across the oblique skull of Tiamat.

Inexplicably, Tiamat recovered, backhanded Deadpool to the face and sent him careening across the beach. A long, deep trench in the beach was formed by his landing.

"Mr. Bluebird? Why are there so many of you flying around my head?" Deadpool still had the staff in his hands as he tried to focus past the blurred vision.

"MITHRAS!" Tiamat screamed. "You denied my destiny!"

"Hey I'd to see Beyonce, Kelly, and that other chick get back together, too," he said while he stood up. "But everything can't be so bootylicious now, can it, you Ninja Turtle reject."

Tiamat charged like a bull at Deadpool, who then played matador and slipped out of the way. But at the last second, Tiamat got a shot in. Its claws just nicked his chest, a flesh wound, but Deadpool's reaction was an extended yell; more to a memory of a prior, worse injury by the same creature's claw.

"I train for many years to be champion of universe," were Tiamat's calculated words. "You, only Mithras. My destiny, you stole."

When he first confronted Tiamat, Deadpool had not understood his alien language that sounded like mostly grunts and swallows. Now the creature had the ability to speak a language that Wilson understood, and it said a lot. "Hey, isn't that crap on your body what I used to beat the Messiah? You've been swiping office supplies again!"

Indeed, the armor was similar to what they both wore in the past. The beast had a symbiotic bond that enhanced their minds and bodies, but only Deadpool was the true bearer.

"The hell with destiny! Let's talk embarrassment as to how you're taking your revenge out on me with the same kind of armor that I took from you!" Deadpool noted.

Tiamat's eyes looked at his armor, and he processed Wilson's words. The living armor shed itself from the alien. And fell aside into the salt water.

"Wow, this is just like the end of 'Predator'," Wilson uttered.

"Mithras, fight and die," Tiamat said.

"SUCKER!" Deadpool swung the alien's staff at Tiamat, expecting to get a shot in. But Tiamat blocked it with his left arm, and snapped the staff in two pieces. "Uhh, what was the Governor's line after this happened?"

Tiamat punched Deadpool square in his mask, sent him veering back several feet, and he fell down.

"Oh yeah, it was, 'Bad idea," Wade groggily recited.

The massive but speedy alien trudged forward, scooped up Wilson by his ripped Hawaiian shirt, and jabbed him in the face again, but somehow Wilson had not fallen.

"Hobson, I would like you to draw me a bath," he slurred, before he withstood another powerful left cross. A third, thunderous Tiamat punch pushed Wilson closer to the resort where the people took cover. Deadpool chuckled after he spurted up blood. He then said to Tiamat, "Is—is this the best you got, pussy-boy?"

Tiamat reached all the way back, swung, and punched his enemy so hard it rocketed him into the resort picnic area. Deadpool collided through chairs, tables, and parasols. Then after he skidded to a halt, he laid face down, motionless. More blood gushed from his mouth and it pooled on the grouted tiles.

"Book 'em, Dan-O," Deadpool gurgled, and heard the alien as it neared. He then felt its hot breath as it stood a few feet from Wade's broken, sprawled out mass.

"Mithras, vengeance is mine," Tiamat droned.

"Aia nô iâ `oe, Ghost Rider," Wilson squeaked.

Suddenly the loudest shriek anyone within range had ever heard rung out and somehow repelled Tiamat almost thirty meters from his prey. Tiamat reacted forcefully to the piercing noise, which was unlike anything it had ever heard, and landed in the salt water sea. Syrin had actually regained usage of her sonic screaming powers! She had checked on the semi-recovering Wilson and cradled his head in her left arm.

"Hey, Red," he uttered. "Thought you were scared of me."

"That beast is a lot scarier than you, ye stupid sod," Theresa Rourke admitted.

"A compliment," he said as his healing factor kicked in. "What happened?"

"Tiamat dinnae seem to like me scream," she observed "You're nae goin' to fight it again are ye?"

"This is personal, Terry. At least it is for him," Deadpool said while he grew stronger and motioned to stand.

"I'm helping ye, Wilson, whether I like it or nae," the attractive mutant stated.

"Whether you—" Deadpool couldn't help but widely smile under his mask, for Syrin was going to assist him even beyond her trepidation. "I never look a gift horse in the mouth. Not that you resemble Mr. Ed or anything. You have much better teeth. "

"Wilson, shut the hell up," she barked, as they prepared for a second round.

_**END PART 1**_


	2. Part 2

_**PART 2:**_

Tiamat, a current addition to Deadpool's rogue's gallery, sunk to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, thanks to the suddenly resurgent sonic scream of Siryn. Deadpool had been brawling with him for close to ten minutes before her intervention, and then she stood aside him to assist.

"Look at us," the mercenary announced, as they stood on the beach. "We're gonna be a team! Like Lewis and Clark, Shaq and Kobe, Anakin and Obi Wan!"

"It'll be more like Ken an' Barbie if ye keep flappin' yuir yap," Siryn announced.

"Yeah, well at least I've got my twig and berries, sister," he muttered.

"He's been underwater an awfully long time," Theresa observed.

"I would like to make a personal point: I DON'T CARE!" He answered. "However, to defer to your X-ness: why yes, Theresa, I believe he has been quite extensively submerged. I do hope he is well!"

Suddenly, a tremendous gush of salt water spewed from the spot where Tiamat fell. In a matter of seconds, the ocean split open. The waves pulled away like a zipper exposing the dry land underneath, toward the beach.

"Wholly Moses, dead President of the N.R.A.!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"My God," Theresa shared the sentiment.

Tiamat stood the long distance away, untouched by any water. The purple apertures on its chest glowed, indicative of his ability to accomplish this feat. The creature had then begun a run on the dry land.

"He's pulling a Jesse Owens on us," he said, "I don't have any of my guns on me."

"Ye don't need 'em. Just follow me lead," Syrin said with much authority. She hadn't felt this strong since she was the junior leader of X-Force. She couldn't, however, risk using her resurgent powers to full strength, which was why she needed Deadpool

The creature was now half the distance from them.

"Terry, you don't have to do this," Wade suddenly changed his mind about their team-up. "I didn't want to include you in my world again!"

Tiamat loudly growled, as he was a quarter of the distance away from the two. Wade and Theresa were the only humans on the beach. Seagulls circled ahead, screeching at the shift in tide.

"Ye can skedaddle if'n ye want," she said as she faced the barreling Tiamat.

Wade noticed Tiamat was an eight the distance from them, and then snatched up a wooden folding-chair from the area.

"Fine!" Wilson huffed out, before the ensuing fray.

When Tiamat was nearly atop them, Theresa emitted a scream at its feet, an act that quickly shot the sand into its face as if it was bullets. While it had only mildly hurt Tiamat, it bought Deadpool a distraction to slam the wooden chair into the alien's cranium. It hadn't made the beast happy, as it blindly swung.

Theresa backtracked and let loose another scream, and the impact jarred it toward the rest area. Deadpool, uncharacteristically silent, nailed the beast with a roundhouse boot to its neck. The swiftness of Tiamat was not to be ignored as it grabbed the leg of the mercenary and slammed him headfirst into the sand. After Wilson let out a muffled holler of pain, Theresa acrobatically soared into the air.

"Let 'im go, ye ugly bastard!"When she sent another sonic scream full-on Tiamat, he released Wade's leg and fell backward. With the window of opportunity open, Wade leapt up and utilized his years of training, plus experience with Landau, Luckman & Lake, with a barrage of punches and kicks on the alien creature; the same monster that once eviscerated him.

Hot flashes of who he's thrown punches at entered Wilson's mind, Typhoid Mary, T-Ray, Ajax, and Weasel, his best friend. Although Deadpool momentarily had Tiamat on the ropes, that memory of Weasel caused a hesitation that gave the alien an open. It landed a right uppercut to Wilson's masked jaw. The mercenary flew off several meters and left a long trench while landing in the sand.

"Wade!" Siryn called out.

Theresa summoned all of her experience and expertise with X- Force to stealthily approach Tiamat. With the comprehension that it would hurt her more than him, Theresa let loose an extended, piercing sonic scream that shook the waves and trees. Tiamat spun around and grasped his own head, covering his unseen ear cavities. Its knees buckled and gave out, and it reached out as if to plead for mercy. Theresa saw the expression in its eyes.

"Laird," she whispered, as it finally passed out. She noticed Wade stirred, and rushed over to his side.

Wilson sat up on his own, and saw Theresa and the felled Tiamat several feet away.

"Is it still alive, wink wink?" he murmured.

"Hope so," she said. "Ye wanted otherwise?"

"I think 'duh' is now in Webster's Dictionary," was his answer.

"Aye, I figured that," Syrin said. "I'd called the X-mansion. Jean and Cyclops were already on the West Coast and should be here any minute."

"Wait, when the hell did you call them?" Wade asked while he stood up.

"While I was pulling evac for yuir dumb arse," she answered.

No sooner than she completed the sentence, the X-Jet suddenly screamed from above and landed on the beach. Scott Summers, a.k.a. Cyclops, the first in command of the X-Men, leapt out first, and Jean Grey leapt out second.

"Theresa," Jean greeted her. "My God, it's been too long."

"I know, an' I'd like t'share a brew with both of ye, but there's a wee bit of a containment problem here," Theresa pointed to Tiamat, who was unconscious, and face down in the sand.

Cyclops looked over at the alien, then at Siryn, then at Wilson. "So Deadpool, what the hell are_ you_ doing here?"

"At the moment, talking to the poster boy for birth control," Wade responded. "Y'know, Summers, a decent optometrist could take care of your little problem."

"Whatever," he said. "Jean, could you communicate with it while it's unconscious?"

"I don't see why not," the lovely mutant answered. She walked up to it and hovered her hands above its head.

"Uhh, hey Legs," Deadpool said to Jean, "Not that I care or nothin', because I really don't, but you should be aware that Tiamat's probably..."

Jean convulsed and fell back into the arms of her husband, Scott.

"Jean, what happened?" Scott asked.

"I-I don't know! This creature has some kind of mental firewall that prevented my telepathic communication."

"Uh, yeah, that's kind of what I was trying to tell you yahoos," Deadpool said.

"Wade, what're ye talkin' about," Siryn asked.

"His species, I was...on a job, when I kinda met more of them," he recounted. "The only way they could senselessly blab to me in English was to enter my fried noggin."

"They're telepaths?" Cyclops concluded.

"By the flashy-dressed corpse of Rod Roddy, give the man the grand prize for stating the fuckin' obvious!" Deadpool rolled his eyes. "To quote your arch nemesis Gandalf, 'I thought you lived at a school!'"

"So now what're we goin' t'do?" Siryn asked.

"We'll have to encase it in stasis and..."Cyclops was about to suggest, until Tiamat stirred.

"Santa Maria Conchita Alonso Mourning sickness, he's waking up!" Deadpool observed.

"NOW who's statin' the obvious," Siryn said.

The three mutants stood at the ready, uncertain of how to attend to this unfamiliar creature. Tiamat shook his head like a wet dog would, and faced new foes.

"Mithras! _Coward_!" The beast screamed.

"What's a Mithras?" Cyclops asked, as he prepped his visor.

"That would be yours truly," Deadpool sighed, and pushed past the three mutants. "This is between me and him (but don't hesitate to blast him if he kills me.),"

"Wilson, what're you doing?" Cyclops said.

"Shut. Up." Wilson snapped to Scott as he moved ahead up to Tiamat, hands by his sides, and conceded, having said to Tiamat, "Okay, Leonardo, you got me. Revenge is a dish best served lukewarm, so sop me up with a biscuit."

Still weakened by Siryn's scream, Tiamat hesitated.

"I know exactly how you feel, you prick. Life chooses you to do certain things and then it's all ripped away. You really believe I wanted to off you that day? Well, you're wrong. You met me at a time when I was trying to better myself, cuz I thought I was fighting for the greater good. You just happened to be the dumb schmuck who got in the way of my destiny. Now I see what you're like, you're the Stephen King/Steven Spielberg version of me: a guy who wanted to do the right thing, but I was something in the way."

Tiamat, who telepathically processed the words, stood motionless.

"I won't forgive you for murdering Noah. But I'll still say this: I'm sorry. What happened between us shouldn't have happened, not there, not here, not ever. I apologize for keeping you from your destiny. Take this from someone who relates."

During his monologue, Wilson had meandered to millimeters near Tiamat, and faced up into his glowing eyes.

"Mithras..."It slowly growled.

Tiamat stepped backward from Deadpool, but it held its finger to his forehead. Wilson's body was in a state of rigor. Cyclops, Jean and Siryn noticed his reaction.

"Oh, Wade," Theresa whispered.

"What's it doing to him?" Scott asked.

"I can only guess from Wilson's mind, Scott. It looks like he's—"Once again, Jean was jolted. "I saw a little, but it was re-attuned."

Suddenly, an organic vehicle that resembled an acorn covered by peat moss soared overhead and hovered above the two rivals. A yellow tractor beam shone from its belly onto them both but only levitated Tiamat.

"Wade Wil-son, we meet again, maybe not as enemies," were the last words of Tiamat before he floated inside the ship. The ship hummed and quickly shot into the air, and soared away.

"We're going to follow it," Cyclops immediately announced.

"Stand down, X-Geek" Deadpool barked at him. "He's not a threat to us anymore."

"Is he right, Jean?" Scott asked. "Is Tiamat no longer a threat?"

"What is it with you, Freakzilla?" Deadpool asked him. "That Giant Sea Monkey told me so with its finger! God, nobody believes killer mercenaries anymore."

"Yes, Scott, from what little I extrapolated, we won't be seeing him again any time soon," Jean concluded. She walked up to Wilson and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Look, Deadpool, I did see some of what it gave you. Are you going to be all right?"

He was a man who made several attempts to end many of her colleagues' lives and Jean Grey was still being consoling. Wilson was surprised at her charitable question.

"I'm _never_ gonna be all right, Legs," he somberly answered and then perkily said, "Unless, of course, you're up for a frequent game of Hide Wade's Sausage!"

"Unlikely," she responded while she removed her hand as if she touched hot coals. Scott stared daggers at the mercenary.

"Jean, Scott, thank ye f'r comin' on such short notice," Theresa said.

"You're welcome, Theresa," Jean answered, as the two hugged.

With open arms, Deadpool motioned towards Cyclops.

"Don't _even_ go there, Wilson," Cyclops rejected him.

The mutants exchanged their good-byes, and then Scott and Jean stepped into the X-Jet. It blew up a lot of sand but did not affect Wade and Theresa, who watched it ascend. As it completely left their sight, they stood quietly as the ocean was the only noise for the moment.

"Wade and Theresa Alone: Act 4," Deadpool had begun. "You deserve an apology from me as well."

"Damn right I do!" She seriously answered. "This was me vacation. I've nae had one in ages but ye waltz up, interrupt it with yuir same shite, and this time ye brought an enemy with ye!"

"I'm so sorry, Theresa," Deadpool said. "There I was, declaring how I wouldn't hurt you, and he nearly contradicted that. You could have been killed."

"Aye, but ye underestimate me, merc," she said. After a very long pause of trying to find his eyes behind his mask, Theresa asked, "Why did ye hesitate during yuir assault? Ye almost took 'im down."

"Uhh.." Having known the answer, but unwilling to tell her, he concocted, "I ate one too many club chalupas last night."

"I still have a vacation t'enjoy, Wade," Syrin flatly stated. "Do not visit me again unannounced."

Deep down inside, he was saddened by her dismissal. He understood that today was the third strike, the final nail in the coffin. He was alone once again. He tapped his transporter belt, but it shorted out and would not work. "God damn Made in Thailand piece of shit," he muttered, then began a slow trudge away from Theresa.

"Jean asked ye if ye were going to be okay. Now, I'm goin' t'puposely neglect the tasteless portions of yuir said answer," Siryn began. "I believe ye that ye dinnae beat me up. I assure ye that ye have nae lost me as a friend." She took in a deep introspective inhale to exhale. "Seein' ye accomplish all this in the last half hour has opened me eyes a wee bit more."

Deadpool once again was unusually silent during her monologue. He heard her words as if they were classical music soothing his tainted soul.

"There was much more talkin' than fightin' today, Wade, for everyone. That counts f'r a lot in me War and Peace-sized book. But ye still have t'one hundred percent earn me trust."

"Thank you, Terry," Wade said. "I promise not to let you down."

"Don't make promises ye cannae keep, Wade. It doesn't become you."

Deadpool sharply exhaled, and as deja-vu kicked in for him, he answered with a smile of happiness. "I don't. Never."

_**THE END?**_


End file.
